The Ignite Speech: The Day that made me Cry

    Before our victory in the Speech Choir Competition, there is another story of my failure aside from not being chosen as the public speaker. This entry will reveal to you why I feel more disappointed than being glad we won as champion.

   "I don't want to watch it"........."I don't want to watch it"......."I don't want to remember it"......."I don't want to remember it" I said to myself. Dec 8, 2015 is our first day of ignite speech presentation. I volunteered to go first. I was nervous because, you need to speak for exactly 15 seconds per slide and you need to catch up with the timing if ever you screw up.

    As I started, I'm already screwing up. I looked back because I want to remember all the exact words plus the emotions I need to show in order to give impact. I really want to be the ignite speaker, because I can imagine myself inspiring people at the end of my speech. In addition, I already prepared my attire for such event, a black long-sleeve shirt, right hand protector with a glove, black slacks with a belt, and a black boots. I just keep going until I forgot some sentences, so I need to create another one that's related to my point for that specific slide. I slauthered again, I got everything messed up that's why my head turned to the slideshow to check my cues. "I want to finish this, I'm embarrassing myself."

   I looked at Sir Nomer as I speak, addressing to him that I'm willing to do this thing even if I'm not that prepared. Speaking of that, I have a lot of reasons why I'm not able to prepare for such things. First, our marketing and advertising project that makes us suffer wondering how to please the audiences with our tourist spot. Second, my presentation for Word Literature, I need to create the PowerPoint, the written report, and prepare for my oral report, how can I supposed to prepare for the ignite speech if my weekends are consumed by NATSER and other WORKS? Third, Finals, Finals, Finals.........wait there's more the competitions and I mostly left school at 5pm because of Practice, Practice, and Practice.

   I can now imagine myself when I'm already a graduating student, eye bugs, pale skin, and probably diagnosed with brain cancer. Everything is sinking already even if it's only my first term in college; I hope the next term is not stressful because I need to have a smooth flow of things.

   I stopped entertaining my other thoughts and just continue until there's a part where I can now burst everything. Before the discussion about the ignite speech, I can already imagine myself together with my chosen topic. I tried hard enough in order to please people with my presentation, I strictly studied my topic, get inspiration from anywhere, get the models, thinked about the concept for my story, and choose the best design as possible. In fact, my ignite speech is one of the first thing I created during the APEC week after reading that story that I both love and hate.

   Despite everything, a failure is a failure. After two days, it was announced who are the choices as the ignite speaker....it was between Charella and and Jillian. I failed to make it as the ignite speaker or even as an option ........it is fine if I'm not chosen but not being recognized to have the potential breaks my heart harder.......my eyes are heating.....it's very hot.....it now produces the waters that fall down to my slack and wetting my hands....I tried to be strong, but it's so painful.......I tried....I tried....I'm sorry ......I'm sorry....I wasn't prepared, I just volunteered to test myself....the thoughts are coming inside my mind, "I'm not the chosen one."

   I hope there's still a chance. I hope there's still a chance. I tried to beg the fate to change mine, because this is my only chance to save my scholarship and my dream to go back to America.

   The day before the ignite speech class presentation, I talked to Sir Nomer, trying to make him pull up my grade in order to save my scholarship but then he told me to do good with my ignite speech; that added to the sadness that I'm feeling because of the fact that I didn't do well. Sadly, again I didn't make it, but at least I got 93 for my presentation; that felt like a relief despite of not being chosen besides it's my fault for not preparing for the competition wait it's their fault.

   That day really made me sad, I was losing hope and instead fear swallows me alive. I was frustrated and I'm wondering who I should blame for such a catastrophe.

   I should blame the people who slowed me down and got my free days occupied..........but right now it doesn't matter because we won the Speech Choir Competition, anyways I'm glad that every suffering is paid for this victory..........although I feel something strange that makes me think again........does winning the Speech Choir Competition will make me happy? I don't know because something really bothers me and makes me think that winning the Speech Choir Competition is nothing but just a nullified event.

Speech Choir Competition: The Fantasized Moment

   Another day means another nightmare for me, because I knew I'll screw up again; just like what happened yesterday. Regardless of the circumstances, I just prepare the things that I need for another deadly day. I need to get to school early because I have to print some works for World Literature. I took my bath as fast as possible that I imagine myself running like a cheetah.

   I hope Miss Ceres haven't entered the room yet because it's already 8:40 on the clock. Quickly, I sprint up and down until I finished printing the output to be submitted to Miss Ceres. Fortunately, I made it just in time. I rapidly put my costumes on, a red skinny pants, a white long-sleeve polo shirt and a lighting Christmas hat, we head to the auditorium and now it's starting to occur again......

  As I was walking my way to a seat, this feeling that I always feel whenever I participate in a competition; it was going too fast, very fast, it wants to make me explode. It was my pumping heart. There's nothing new about it, so I tried to pacify the feeling by getting out from the auditorium to clear things out in order for me to stay cool and calm.

  I fixed my hair and I went in to the auditorium again. Somehow, it helped reducing the tension in me with a repeated times of using the restroom. The contest was started by sir Deeno as the host. We sang the National Anthem and started watching the contestants be killed by the reactions of the crowd due to their stammering speeches with a little diversity in their moves.

   Now it is our turn to be slauthered on stage. They showed our AVP first, the AVP is a compilation of the times we prepared for the competition; good thing Pam didn't include more scenes of my face because I look awful without a reason. We gather ourselves to our respective areas, but I feel something strange.

   We are now ready but the lights are still off, uh oh, technical difficulty. The beginning is such a failure unlike the times we practiced. There goes my part; I said to myself, "This is the time to give all that you've got". My part arrives and I bring it all out. I move with grace and energy, raising it at its fullest. "Extend here" and "Extend there", "Move over here" and "Move over there", "Speak here" and "Speak there". I do the same things until it's now over.

   We went to our seats and it was occurring again. My heart was beating fast as they announce the winners for the Speech competition; which I somehow hate after my failure to make it to the finals, Ignite speech; which I also hate because I also failed to be chosen as the ignite speaker but as I realize how hassle it was, I'm somehow thankful at least every failure feels like a relief. And now, they announced who won the 2nd runner-up, I was surprised that AC-151 got it, at first I thought they'll be like first place or champion because they did well compared to us. Second, they announced the 1st runner-up, the MA-151 well I never thought of that because I didn't watch their performance entirely thinking a lot of things. Lastly, the champion, this feeling occurred more and has gotten worst.

   I looked at Kelly who was sitting beside me, we comfort each other but I'm the one who feels worse than her. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack anytime because of my fast heart beat rate. Then the champion was.......

   I hate the announcer because they're making us excited at the same time deficiently making us wait and listen. It is Tourism Management.....

   I stand quickly raising my two hands in the air with the fingers clenched. I wasn't able to hold my happiness that time, I released all of it. It was unexplainable, it's a bad sign though that signifies I'm about to get weak again just like before. I said to myself, "I won't be that person again."

   Everything was unexpected. We head up to the stage and I barbarically jumped over to get onto the stage first, I'm so ashamed of myself because I brag like I'm the only cause of our victory. I stepped back and join the others as we form a line holding our trophy as a champion. We took photos, shake hands with the teachers and we're done...congratulations.......but that time I realized that it's our last day.....how will I going to end this day without even crying.............I guess I'm now attached to these people that I can say "I'll miss them soon"........that's why I choose to move away from everybody and observed them from one side and they are very happy with their smiles like there's still tomorrow to see each other again.

Public Speaking Competition: A moment to remember or not?

   After a nightmare last night that I couldn't even remember, I rose from bed thinking what time it is. I went to my PDA to check the time and its 7:28 in the morning. Still tired, I went to bed again but at the same time memorizing my speech for the competition later on.

  I was preoccupied so much that I didn't realize what time I left my house. Luckily, I got my mom to send me until to the gate, where I always pass from school to home and vice versa. As I was inside the car, I eventually check the time and it was 9:33 on her clock. I was surprised that's why I asked her if it's the right time and she replied yes.

   We are already at the gate, I went down and we say each other a goodbye. After I went out from the gate, I was having a thought that it was only a lie, because I always caught her doing so that's why I kinda doubt her respond. Nullifying my thoughts, I just rushed my steps to the polluted environment, where cars and smoker's smokes were combined suffocating me literally, that's why I always need to cover my mouth and nose whenever I walk there. Unfortunately, that's not the end of the everyday nightmare, well it depends what time I leave the house but it's always sunny anyway so I'm always sweaty both from school and home.

   When I'm in the school already the first thing I did was check the clock. It was already 9:40. I rushed my way to the 10th floor hoping that I could see some people. I'm still sweating that added up to the stress, I hope APC could provide air conditioner everywhere inside the campus. Then I saw a note that says "Head to the auditorium", I rushed my way to the auditorium. I rapidly looked for my fellow contestants who are participating with me in the competition. My blockmate told me to go to 7th floor Discussion Room B, but they also told me that I might be already disqualified, I was like "such a thoughtful of them", it came to my mind that they expect me to go down but I had enough thinking for today, so once again I rushed my way down. I was already sweating; my heart is pumping out because I also hope I'm not disqualified yet for being 10 minutes late.

   I entered the wrong room. I was assigned in Discussion Room A, well it's my fault for being late. I nervously went in hoping for the word "Chance" because I really want to be on stage. Luckily, they let me had my speech but unfortunately I didn't made it to the finals. In addition, I was called by the wrong name that made me feel worst.

   I looked back to the things I've done before. I asked myself, why? I only slaughtered a bit and had few grammatical errors. I think I did great but oh well, it's their lost anyway for not having me as a finalist, I could have done better if I’m one, but sad to say they like dramas, which I didn't apply to my speech because as much as possible I want to give people positive vibes. That's the thing I've observed from the judges based on the contestants they've chosen. They like "Dramas" and I hate "Dramas". Well guest what? It played well. Next time, I'll show more than a "Drama"...........Tragic.

Strong and Challenging Competition to a Shameful Embarrassment

It was a great morning of heaven that turned into hell.

The day is almost great to me until everything that suddenly happened during that time. Well this is not the only day that I'm pissed but I'll be nice for the sake of the reader of this entry.

After checking our attendance for World Literature and a few discussions about the final project we head to the auditorium to watch the speech competition. It was really fun I had a break from stress for some hours. I was sitting with Miss Ceres and we were just mess with each other all the time.

During the competition each high school participant from different schools was given a topic, "Whether good times or bad, it's only the time we got" I don't know, I forgot the exact words. Some of them did great but some shiver in fear.

But meanwhile after having the first five, I heard someone mentioning my name and I was like what's going on? Then I learned that they're volunteering me in an activity related to public speaking. I was surprised and I wonder why?

It was only for fun. First we had a debate; each block needs three representatives and will be competing with each other. They will give us a topic and whether we like it or not, either a pros or cons will be assigned to us. The criterion is very easy, whoever has the loudest cheer from the crowd wins, and it’s such a bias I know.

It's now Tourism versus Marketing, I went around the seats then across to the other side to meet the other two volunteers from our block, Cha and Roanne. I led the way to the stage, at first I thought I would have a great fear but when I went up and walk to the center it had a less impact. Now, they give us a topic about who has the potential to be a better ruler, "Duterte and Binay".

Duterte for Marketing students and Binay for us, I was like "I want to defend Duterte" because I'm on his side but we have no choice but to defend it or we'll lose it. I'm having a hard time thinking good things about Binay until I remember his commercial about losing his mother at a very young age. Well, still Duterte's side made a good point. I won't blame anyone from my team or even myself if ever we lose the debate, how can you defend someone you hate? But still we won by just the odds which is the audiences' cheer. I can remember the part where I angrily shouted "TM" good thing some didn't notice that otherwise I'm totally embarrassed.

We continue after the activity, the reward is a chocolate; I don't eat sweets so I gave it to someone.

While a participant is speaking, the adviser from the Asia Pacific College Speaks is going around to each block again and again, uh oh. It looks like there's another reaping again. Unfortunately same thing happened, I'm in demand and I was provided as a tribute.

There are only few participants until the competition ends, and there is another speaking activity again, this time only one will be killed in front of the judgmental crowds. The game is called Speed Speaks, each participant is given 5 unrelated words and you need to connect them. For each 30 seconds you will be given a chance to say something about a word then the rest follows with the same amount of time limit.

I act stupid by telling the hosts that I already got it, but then I ended up doing the opposite, that's why we started over again. I don't know why, probably I'm trying to entertain people even if it would risk my dignity. For the sake of the crowd, I just do everything that I can to please them but I admit that I embarrassed myself by being the pride of our block. The first set was easy; I should have taken the chance. To be honest, something was bothering me that time, I don't know what it is but I just do it and looking forward to be finished.

I also received a chocolate as a reward, but not as a winner but as a participant, every volunteer for the activity received the same prize even if I did worst than them.

Somehow I feel like I did a smart thing about showing my stupidity but at the same time I'm hoping that the embarrassment that happened will be forgotten and will never happen again.

Phantom of the Opera: a movie that captured me

"Dark Opera”
“Dark Music”
“Everything's Dark”
“I have this Dark Feeling”
“I can feel it”
“It conquers me”
“It wants me”
“I want to be part of it”
“I want to be part of that Darkness"

These are the feelings I felt when the first music was played during a film showing in the Audio Visual Room on the 26th of November. I'm a little bit late that time; I forgot the reason, that's why I missed some of the first part of the movie. Then I asked Mam Eliz, "Miss what is the title of that movie?" She respond, "The Phantom of the Opera."

An elusive music was playing in the screen. I feel stunned. It devours me in the Dark Room. It's eating me alive from every beat, every tone, every note, everything.

It was a great movie, I feel like I want to be part of it. All performers are wonderful, especially their voice. The film ate me alive. I wish I can play a wicked role just like the Phantom of the Opera.

I love the concept of the story. It's about person name Erik who owns a theatre. He is known as the "Phantom of the Opera" and is not seen by his workers. He hides his ugly face under a mask and hides somewhere in the stage. He only sends letters to them to say his messages. Whenever they displeased him, he pranks on them by doing some malevolent act. He fell in love to one of the performers the soprano Christine, but she loves someone else, her childhood friend, Raoul. Witnessing the horrors in the theatre, she tried to escape with Raoul. The Phantom of the Opera learned about their escape plan. Furiously angry to what he found out, he kidnapped her forcing her to marry him by a threat to kill her boyfriend. In order to save Raoul's life she agreed to marry Erik. Sadly, Erik allowed them to escape and was given a kiss by her. She leaves with Raoul with a feeling of sorrow. Erik just left like a bubble.

My favorite lines from the Phantom of the Opera are:

“You can fool someone you’ve known before.”

“There are worst things than a shattered chandelier.”

“I won’t forget him in this darkness.”

“He kills without a thought.”

“Why past can’t just die?”

I haven't fall in love before but I can feel the man's pain about sacrificing his happiness just for her to be happy. You know what they say:

I also believe that love shouldn't be based on appearance. But honestly speaking, you can't avoid either adoring or hating someone without facial features as a factor. Some say, "First impression never dies."

I agree somehow, I mean love at first sight? And the reason why is because the person is nice?........how exactly did you find them nice at the first place without any interaction with them? The answer is you fell in love not because they are nice, but because they look good. Going back to the topic, once again I'll say that the story is good, I love the music so much and it's very dark. But beware because the Ghost can be everywhere and can be anyone.

Plagiarism is not an old issue but still a BIG ONE

I know how it feels like when somebody copied your own work. I bet every does hate it the same way I do.

I remember a month or few weeks after the first day of school, we were ask to write a speech about three of our most feared things for public speaking 1 and it was a group activity. It only composed of 1 partner, but the worst part is being partnered with a lazy person. I won't mention a name for some reason but I'm going to tell what that person exactly did that traumatized me when it comes on trusting people again.

We started to talk to each other about three of our most feared things. At first, I really have a bad feeling that it's the kind of person who will do something bad and awful. It just asked me to borrow my work; I thought it just wants an idea on how it will write its own speech. Then, Sir Nomer asked for a volunteer. "I volunteer", it objected "No." Sir asked if my partner is ready and it respond that it's not ready. Sir Nomer skipped us, I was very nervous that time, my heart was beating very fast probably detected something bad might happened. It took twenty persons (estimated) until it's our turn. I expected it has something to say after a long time of wait. We went in front, it went to speak first because one of the rules is the person who's named is called will go first before its partner. As it reads its own speech, I was shocked.

It has the same conclusion like mine. I was frustrated. I want to humiliate that person in front of everyone showing how shit it was. But what it doesn't know is I already have a backup in case something like this happened. But still, that didn't calm me down knowing the fact that it copied my work. I did my best to do better. It turned out great somehow, I managed to end my speech nicely, but my issue was what just happened during that time gave me a lesson not to trust anyone, especially when it comes on showing your creativity. Well, it might copy my work but it will never copy the way I think.

  

#ALDUBAgainstALLODDS as a part of Media

At first I was really disappointed when Fox Filipino has been removed from our cable and replaced by Jeepney Tv on the 14^th day of August (probably). The program is from ABS-CBN because we are using Destiny Cable. Sky Cable already own Destiny Cable. Since, Sky Cable has partnership with ABS-CBN, cases like this is expected. It’s like I everything change when the day this happened, everything is not normal, I feel uncomfortable. I tried to survive the new nature.

Until one day, I heard about ALDub, I actually didn’t hear about it for the first time because I always see it whenever my family is watching GMA noontime show which is Eat Bulaga. I saw Wally disguised as an old woman with this dubsmash caregiver, she was named as Yaya Dub. She was the girl who went viral with her video doing some dubsmashes. She became popular as the story continues to expand with more characters. She develop a love story with Alden, they became famous because of their split screen love story. Many people admired them until (probably) GMA dominated the afternoon rating.

Some adore them and also expect for bashers. But some people hate them not because of they are in GMA, but because they got most of the attention than the problems of the world who need it more.

What I can say is, ALDub in Kalyeserye is not that bad because they’re teaching good moral values and they are emphasizing the meaning of “Right Time”. But it doesn’t mean I don’t agree with the points of some people who are not fan of it.

This morning we had a seminar that involves media. Media is powerful and influential but accompanying these great attributes is also a great danger. People can spread the news, actuate people, host an organization or a group and gather people to be part of it. However, it seems like this power is not being used in a good way.

World’s generation today has been gifted with such things. With no proper use of these possessions, it will endanger the moral values of humanity. It is not media’s fault, it’s our fault. We must understand these facts and change them for good.